It's now 8 weeks since you were born little Ollie and I need to write down the story about how you came into this world before any of the details fade from my mind. Because that happens to Mamas after a baby is born. Right after a birth it feels impossible to ever forget any little crazy detail. But maybe when you do something so hard and so incredible God helps by tucking the memory behind a vale so that we can do it again if needed.
Finding out you were on your way to our family was a little bit of a surprise! A very happy surprise since I have know for a while our family wasn't complete but I also wasn't getting pregnant. So, I was surprised and shocked and it actually took a little to really let it sink. Not too long though because the morning sickness started pretty early and very strong. I decided to treat your pregnancy like it would be my last. To embrace every part of the experience, the good and the bad. So that's what I did. I cherished every minute. I'm so very grateful that I got to carry you for 9 months and love you before I even got to see you. You were mild in my belly. Not too crazy of a kicker but pretty consistent and pretty mellow. My belly, my hips, and booty got pretty big with you. I was stretched to the max. I felt like a super human being able to get so big and growing you.
I started having contractions in the beginning of July. Nothing crazy but I would have them pretty much every night. My body was slowly getting ready to labor you into this world. It started making me pretty anxious for you to come! About 1 week before you came we had a little chat. I let you know I was really fine with you taking your time with coming. That I loved carrying you and I was in no rush if you weren't. At our 39 week doctor appointment Dr. Alexander checked me and I was "high and tight and not dilated" and which I replied 'that that is how I roll and that you will come a few days late'.
On Tuesday July 24th I woke up and had my normal contractions. The owners of our house were here almost all day cleaning out the garage and so I just took care of your older brothers and worked on cleaning the house a little. The contractions were more regular and stronger but I didn't think much of it till around 1pm. At that point I called your daddy and let him know that he should come home early today because I was having a hard time. So he was home at 3pm and took over with the big boys while I rested. I let him know that we should eat a big dinner...I must have know you were on your way...so he went and picked up dinner at Pica Fresh. It was delicious and I was stuffed. We put the boys down to bed at 8pm. Daddy had to do it because I needed to just relax on the couch. This is when it gets exciting.
At 8:30pm while sitting on the couch alone, I heard two distinct "pops". It was crazy! I would bet money that if someone was sitting next to me that they could have heard it. I wasn't sure what it was but when I shifted my weight the gush of water came. How exciting! This was my first time having my water brake on it's own. I let your daddy know that my water broke and he flew into high gear and I was sitting in the car ready to leave for the hospital by 8:45pm. Our neighbor Elizabeth came over to sit with the boys till your aunt Yaya got here. On our way to the hospital we ended up hitting really bad traffic on the 68 which was strange for that time of night. Daddy got to ride on the side of the road and tell the man stopping the traffic that his wife was in labor. It was just like a movie and very exciting. I wasn't in a big hurry because after my water broke, the contractions seemed to slow down.
We arrived at CHOMP and were all settled in to our room by 9:30pm. The nurse checked me and I was at a 2cm and still high and tight. Now, since the begging of my pregnancy I knew I wanted to do a non medicated birth. We started reading a book and practicing techniques at about 8 months. So the nurse just the IV port in but didn't hook me up to anything. Her name was Elisa and she had the prettiest french accent. She was very mellow and calm. She know my birth plan and was ready to help me. When she told me I was at a 2 I wasn't surprised and got ready to get to laboring.
The contractions continually got stronger and the only position I could be in was standing. Daddy would apply heat on my lower back between the contractions and then rub hard during them. We were a silent team doing the labor dance together. We were in the zone. After about 4 hours the nurse suggested I try laboring in the shower and so I did. It was sweet relief having that hot water on my tummy and back. I labored in the shower for about an hour till the contractions were very intense and I started having pressure. I knew that was a sign that I might be close so we moved back into the room. My legs were so shaky now and I was so tired. It was 2 am. At this point I was in constant contact with Heavenly Father. I was talking with him in my hearth and mind through the contractions and he was holding me up in between. It was now a trio of God, Me, and your Daddy working to get you here. My nurse decided to check me. Her exact words: "Oh great! You are at a 4 now! This means you are officially in active labor now!" This is when I started to loose my mind. I had been laboring for 5 hours at this point and the pain was getting so extreme. I started to yell at everyone to get me an epidural. I was serious and I had lost all hope of being able to have an unmediated birth. It took some convincing but the nurse agreed to call the anesthesiologist to start my epidural. She let me know that I had to have one full bag of fluids before I could have my epidural so I said 'Hook me up!' I had to climb on to the bed at this point because my knees started to give out. I was leaning over the back of the bed and loosing it. I was yelling for an epidural, I told your daddy he was too close and to get away, when they told me to focus on the music I screamed that I hated the music, they told me to breath and I told them I couldn't Freaking breath! Then I started telling everyone I was going to poop on the bed. Haha! I didn't. But it turns out you were turned backwards so I was back laboring. Then the screaming started. I told your daddy to grab my leg and hold it up and that I was pushing. He called for the nurse to check me because 5 minutes ago I was at a 4 and he was worried. She checked me and I was at a 10 and fully dilated and you were coming! I opened my eyes at that point and all the lights were on and the room was in a flurry. I was still calling for my epidural and then just full out screaming. At one point I actually heard my self screaming like I wasn't in my body and thought 'Is that me?' Then I remember the doctor saying 'you need to close your mouth and push your baby out'. She wasn't my regular dr., he was out of town. but she was exactly what I needed. I strong woman that got strait to the point. I got back into my body and shut my mouth and pushed. It took 4 pushes and one last primal scream and you were out and in my arms. It was 15 minutes from me being at a 4 till you were in my arms. and 5 hours total of laboring. I was still asking for an epidural after you were out. Mostly because I was just upset that it didn't come already. Haha! You pinked up real fast and gave us some great cries. I then held you and nursed you for the next 12 hours strait. I was so very very in love with you. And your daddy. And the nurses. And any stranger that would walk into my room. The rush of hormones after your birth were stronger than I had ever experienced. It was incredible. I felt amazing! I was on such a high that I couldn't even sleep. Your daddy fell asleep at about 3:30am and I just laid awake holding you in wonder. Your brothers and Yaya came on your birthday at noon'ish to meet you for the first time. It was the sweetest moments watching your big brothers see you for the first time. They were excited, happy, curious, and anxious to hold you.
I managed to fall asleep at about 4am the next morning and was woken up at about 6 for your hearing check (I think?). I didn't feel right when I woke up. I went to the restroom and then came back to tell the nurses that I thought my tongue was swelling up and that I couldn't breath. I was having a full blown panic attack! The sweet nurse ended up having to take me out of the hospital to get some fresh air before I could calm down. We all agreed that I should stay until my doctor sees me before being discharged. Dr. Alexander came at about 12pm and let me know that it was just my hormones dropping out from the high I had been riding and that all I really needed was to go home. He was right. Looking back at my laboring, I knew I was in transition. I believe that if the nurse hadn't checked me and told me I was at a 4 I wouldn't have gone so crazy out of my mind with fear. I was in tune with my body and new you were almost here!
We got dressed, got you dressed, packed up the room, and 40 hours after you were born we were back home. Yaya and your brothers had decorated for your home coming and had bought some new pj's for me and for you. It was the sweetest! Our neighbor Elisabeth was next to meet you. She also brought us dinner for the next two weeks. It was such a blessing since we didn't have anyone coming to help.
Oliver, your birth was such an amazing experience. It was extremely spiritual for both your Daddy and me. I reached up into the stars and pulled you down and you fit perfectly into a spot waiting for you in our family. We named you Oliver which comes from the term Olive branch and is a sign of peace. You truly are our peaceful child. The name Marley also has some special meanings to us. The obvious is that it's my nick name. Your daddy, after your birth, said he needs my name after all I went through to bring you into the world. Also, the meaning of Marley is; 'a pleasant wood beside the sea' which describes Monterey and were you were born. And lastly, the year that you were conceived was a very hard one for our family. There is this painting on one of our walls that says "Every little thing, is going to be alright". We clung to that lyric that came from a Bob Marley song.
So to our little peaceful baby boy, that was born in a pleasant wood by the sea, and is bringing hope and love to our lives every day, we welcome you. You are cherished, you are so loved, and you are so important to our family. We all give thanks for you every night in our prayers.
We love you little Ollie bear.
